Giving
by Little-Red-2404
Summary: She's loyal to him; he gave her a temporary home and in return, she'll have his back. If anyone has the right to rule, it's him. But she's forgetting everything: a name, a friend, the true King of the woods, and a past life. Rated M just in case. Cover photo cred goes to @makeanimpactonyou on tumblr
1. No Name

**Chapter 1: No Name**

 **No Name's POV**

"Wait a minute! Wait!" I cried out as the guard locked up the cell he had just thrown me in. I reached through the bars to catch his arm or at least the metal sleeve of his armor, but my small hands had just barely missed. "Please! Why am I here? What did I do?" He didn't stop, didn't even look at me. I saw him hang the keys on a hook all the way across the dungeon before walking up the steps. His footsteps echoed as he went and the last thing I heard was the door shut behind him before I noticed how dark and silent everything was.

I sat on the cold, stone floor, resting my forehead against one of the bars of my new sleeping quarters as I tried to ponder what had just happened. I thought everything had been going well.

It had been only a few weeks since I showed up at the castle gates. I had woken in a field of grass not too far from there, but had no clue where I was or how I got there. With fear in my heart and a hungry belly, I ran to the guards who stood at the gate. My dress was covered in grass stains and I still had bits of grass and flowers in my tangled, brown hair. What had happened to me, they asked. I couldn't give them a definite answer. I didn't know.

So, they marched me straight to the king.

He sat in his throne in a large, circle room. The place wasn't lit up all that much and the lightning that flashed through the window caused me to shrink even further. I held the blanket a guard had given me around my shoulders and I tightened it as we came to a stop in front of the man with dark, cold eyes and a matching "smile". He sat next to another who looked much younger, maybe just a few years older than I. However old I was…

"Who's this?" The man asked, eyeing me up and down.

"A young girl we found outside the gates, your highness," the guard on my right had responded. "There's just… One problem…"

"Well, what is it?"

 **Caspian's POV**

She shivered against the soaked dress she wore and held on tightly to the blanket wrapped around her with small, white-knuckled hands. Her hair was in tangles as if she hadn't been capable of brushing it in weeks and her hallowed cheeks had me thinking maybe she hasn't been indoors in weeks either. Her large brown eyes contrasted everything about her, though; they were wide and alert, and almost bright as if they burned with something I couldn't quite understand. She only glanced up at my uncle and I once before she seemed to have decided that staring down at her feet was much more suitable for her.

As the guard stepped forward to have a quiet word with us, my curiosity peeked even more as the man whispered, "She can't remember who she is."

Well, that certainly has never happened before. I glanced back down at the young girl again as the guard whispers, "What should we do with her, sire?"

"Dungeon," he quietly grumbled.

"Dungeon?!" I repeated almost too loudly. The girl peered up at us but I assumed she hadn't heard us, for there was no alarm in her expression, just curiosity. Unless the dungeons didn't seem all too bad to her. But that'd be insane. "Uncle, I think the dungeons is a tad extreme, don't you?"

He looked at me as though if what I was saying was absurd, "Well, what do you suppose we do with this stranger?"

"Let's help her." I told him. He didn't seem too interested in this idea, so I added, "She could be the daughter of some King in another kingdom. If they found that he sent her to our dungeons just because she came walking to our front doors, it would surely start an unnecessary war. What good would that do for our people, Uncle?"

The silence he gave me afterwards was agonizing as he ponder through this. Offer the stranger a home or risk causing a war… What harm could one girl do?

I finally released a breath I hadn't realized I was holding once he yelled, "Elizabeth!" One of our trusty maids appeared as he ordered, "Take this young girl in; give her something dry to wear and be sure to feed her, she looks like she hasn't ate in weeks…"

The maid nodded her head and gently took the girl's arm. She looked tiny enough to snap in half, she was so thin and weak.

"Thank you, Elizabeth." I said.

Elizabeth nodded her head again and gestured the girl to follow her. However, the girl turned and looked directly at me with her bright, brown eyes.

"Thank you," she whispered.

And then she headed down the hall with Elizabeth.

There was something about her that I couldn't quite place my finger on. She was graceful and radiant, and yet she looked so lost. However, when she left, the further she got from the throne room, the darker the throne room seemed to get. It was like she walked with her own light around her head.

 **No Name's POV**

And I stayed with the prince and his aunt and uncle for several weeks. Caspian and the professor taught me many, many things about Narnia, the land we stood on; the trees, the flowers, even the stars. I loved learning about the stars the most. There was something bright and warm about the way they stood up high in the sky.

My least favorite thing to learn was the weapons. It was Caspian's idea to teach me a little on his bow and arrows. We stood outside once on a hot summer morning, standing opposite of the foam targets in front of us. I had to squint my eyes to look up at Caspian, considering he was a good head or two taller than me and the sun seemed to shine just above his head.

"Now, you want to hold it like this," he instructed as he raised his bow up in the air and aimed at the target several hundred feet away from him. "And you have to keep a tight grip on it before you release it, you got that?"

"Got it."

After handing the bow over to me, we were both surprised to see that I wasn't so bad at handling one. I had hit the target dead center almost every time.

"You sure you've never done this before?" He asked, placing his hand over his eyes to shield them from the sunlight and his long, dark bangs.

"Just beginners luck," I told him, although that's not really how it felt. If I were to be honest, it felt like I had already learned how to shoot an arrow before. I just couldn't remember when or who taught me.

"Let's go take a break," he suggested then after I set down the weapon and stared at the target. There was something about the way the arrow sank deep into the red circle that I didn't like. The way it sounded made me want to cringe.

Our break area is almost always the study room. Caspian enjoyed learning new things just as much as I did and his professor had always been helpful in teaching us. That day, as I immersed myself in a book about all sorts of flower types, I couldn't help but overhear the professor and Caspian talking about the history of Narnia.

"Is this them?" Caspian quietly asked, holding a sheet of paper delicately in his hands.

Curiosity got the best of me and I stood up and walked over to stand beside him and peer down at the paper. It was a drawing of four people; one with a gold cloak, one with a blue, one dressed in silver, and the other in red. They wore crowns of silver and gold on their head and they each stood in front of a stone throne.

"The Kings and Queens of Old," the professor nodded, keeping his voice low whether it was for dramatic effect or not, I couldn't tell.

"Who's that?" I asked, pointing to a figure on the next paper. She stood next to the boy dressed in silver, although she seemed a bit faded out on the page. Her brown hair was long and her dress was a creamy white color that wouldn't have shown up on the paper if the paper hadn't been a tiny bit yellowed from old age.

"The angel," The professor replied. "King Edmund the Just, spoke highly of a young girl who saved his life during the battle with The White Witch." He shook his head, "Nobody knew of her, though. And he claimed only him and his siblings could see her."

"Sounds like he went a little conkers there after the war," Caspian chuckled.

The professor shrugged, "Perhaps, but the other king and then queens didn't deny knowing about her and there's no other story on how he might have survived when The White Witch attacked him."

We were silent then as we examined the picture. There was something strange about her, almost like she was going to jump out of the page and greet us right then and there.

None of us noticed how Miraz was leaning against the large wooden door and taking in every word we spoke.

And that night, I dreamt of the Kings and Queens of Old. In times where the summer heat wasn't scorching, it was a simple warm breeze that brushed against your cheek. When spring wasn't a time full of rainy days and major flooding, but bushes and trees of flowers in every size and color. When winter was a time for hot chocolate and singing, and all these other things that I somehow manage to remember.

 _"_ _And presents!"_

I sat up quickly in the dark of my guest bedroom. The voice was that of a young girl who seemed to have read my mind and reminded me that winter was in fact a time where people would enjoy swapping presents in front of a nice warm, cackling fireplace.

And the voice was so familiar and yet… So distant.

"Hello?" I called out and my voice echoed along the empty room. There was only me and the dim light of the moon creeping through the curtains.

So, with a quiet sigh, I rested against my pillows once more and it wasn't long before sleep found me. And not much longer after that, I was rudely awaken by a hand that pushed against my mouth to keep me from screaming.

The two guards dragged me out of my sleeping chambers and down the hall.

During the adrenaline rush I had from being kidnapped from my own bed, I was reminded of a time when Caspian was teaching me some basic combat. He told me screaming for help was never a cowardly move.

 _"_ _But what if they put a hand over my mouth?"_ I had asked.

 _"_ _Don't be afraid to bite it."_

Caspian would've been proud to know I had at least tried. But it wasn't until I bit into the metal glove that I realized his hand was protected and I was helpless against they're pulling and pushing. One of them waited outside the dungeon door as the other dragged me down the steps and tossed me on the floor of the dungeon. I rolled over to the cage door as he locked it with the key.

"Please, there must be some mistake," I cried feeling the large, hot tears roll down my cheeks as the fear consumed me. "I didn't do anything!" He locked me in with a _click_ of the keys. "Wait a minute! Wait!"

But he left without a word and I sat on that stone floor with no idea what was going on, no idea why they locked me up, and no name.

Still no name.


	2. A Quick Escape

**Chapter 2: A Quick Escape**

 **No Name's POV**

I tallied two weeks on the stone walls with the corner of my handcuffs. The first time they brought me scrappy leftovers and dirty water, they added the handcuffs to my hands and ankles so I wouldn't try anything funny. Two weeks of leftovers and dirty water and I was positive that I had gone back to the boney-looking me that first showed up at the castle doorstep. However, this time, my feelings were more distraught than ever.

I didn't sleep. I couldn't. Every time I tried, I thought I heard screaming. It was a girl's scream and it echoed all throughout my surroundings. But every time I opened my eyes and looked all around the dark room I was curled up in, there was nothing but me. Me and I. I and me. Whoever I was.

And in the rare moments that I did sleep, it was only for a brief moment, for the unexplainable faces that popped in my mind always awoken my curiosity. It started with the long, pale lady. She was always dressed in furs- white furs- that were draped around her shoulders. The crown on her head was pointy and silver, almost like an icicle. Her eyes were cold and there was something utterly terrifying. Her presence alone always had me waking up with a start and in a cold sweat.

The next one was a little harder to see. It was like every time I tried to look at him, his face turned into a smug. The vision of him was always blurry. I couldn't even tell for sure what his eye color was. But he was a boy, and I did know him. Except, he hardly ever smiled. He sat in this icy room with me. We were both handcuffed. And I always woke up to find that the handcuffs weren't just a dream like he was.

Then there were nights where I could've sworn I heard voices. _"Listen…. Hear me…. You are not alone…"_

I never truly felt alone in that cell. As much as I curled into the corner and cried, folding my hands in my lap and trying not to panic, I never felt the crushing despair of loneliness. There were nights where I would ponder what I had done wrong and why this had happened to me and other nights where I feared I would never get out and I would grow old and rot in this dungeon; I never felt alone, though. I always figured the faces and voices helped with that. Or perhaps I was just going a little mad?

But then one night, as I closed my eyes, hoping to get a better view of the boy who lingered in my dreams, I was interrupted by something I hadn't expected. The sound of a door opening and then quietly shutting. I sat up, knowing it couldn't be the usual, dismissive guard for he usually slams the door to make his presence known. I stayed silent and listened to the small patter of feet quickly rush down the steps; no sound of metal hitting stone, so I was right- it wasn't the guard.

I quickly sat up on my knee and squinted my eyes to see through the darkness. I was surprised that I hadn't recognized his shadowy figure in the dark until he opened the caged door. He stood over me with a sober smile.

"Sorry it has taken me so long, Estrella." The professor spoke in a hushed tone as he undid my bindings on my wrist and ankles. He had named me Estrella ever since my love for stars had begun; it means star in another tongue.

"You found me!" I gasped, not having what he said completely register in my head.

"Yes, and now you must come with me. I'm going to get you out of here."

I let him lead me up the steps, his hand firmly around my small wrist, before I asked, "Where are we going?"

He dragged me left and right down many halls I had never come across before. His eyes were alert and dodging here and there every few seconds. There was not a single second where he stopped for a quick breather, which had me struggling. I hadn't had a single ounce of exercise in that dungeon, so running up and down the marble halls was like a whole new world for me.

When we finally came to a stop, I almost fell over from the sudden change. I watched as he pressed his thumb on one of the stone bricks and bit his lip as he stared at the wall. For a second, I had started to think that the professor had lost it. Or that I had lost it and this was all one bizarre dream. But then I watched in awe as the wall began to move to the side, giving us an entrance to a smaller, hidden hallway.

"Come, quickly," he whispered loudly as he dragged me into the tight space, ignoring my previous question altogether. "We don't have much time."

The hallway was narrow, fitting only one person at a time, so I followed close behind. Luckily, the tight squeeze didn't last long and we ended up in a circular room with two doors and no windows; one door was the one we had just come through, the other was wooden and looked very, very old. To my relief, Caspian stood next to it.

When he saw me, his eyes widen and he quickly jumped forward and wrapped me in a hug, "Lost Girl?" He let go and looked me in the eye, looking just about as confused as I felt. "What are you doing here?"

I raised an eyebrow at him, "What do you mean? I never left…"

His eyes suddenly looked very distant and I just barely heard him mumble, "But Uncle… He said…"

The professor was quick to interrupt whatever he was saying. "No time. I'm sure you guys will have plenty of time to speak about this, but not now."

I turned to both of them, "Where are we going?" It was then that I noticed that Caspian was dressed in armor and had a sword in his belt buckle. "Is there a war going on?"

"Not yet," The professor replied before shoving us out the wooden door. The door led us to a couple more secret doors which then led us into a secret passageway into the stables. He headed straight for a large, black horse that was already saddled to go.

"Y-you are coming with us, aren't you, professor?" My voice was shaky as I realized he had only readied one horse.

The professor shook his head, "Someone's got to keep watch on the inside."

I watched Caspian jump on, before the panic really settled in. I turned to the professor and hastily blurted out, "I don't understand."

"And you will, Estrella, you will, dear child." He kissed the top of my head before rushing me to jump on behind Caspian. Once I was seated in the saddle in front of him, the professor added, "Just not by me. Caspian will explain what he can when you two are safe."

"Safe." Well, of course. This was a prison break after all. But why was Caspian coming along? He was the prince. He belonged here more than I did.

"Take this," the professor handed me a steel bow and arrow. "I know you don't like to use them, but I'm afraid you might need them. Just take it." Reluctantly, because of the way he pleaded so desperately, I grabbed the weapon and slung it over my shoulder. "And this," next, he placed a white horn in my hand with the face of a lion on it.

Something deep within the back of my mind struck me hard as I stared down at it, almost like an awful headache. But it was there and gone before I could react.

I held it as if it was fragile, although it strong and slightly heavy in my hand. "What is it?" I asked as if it wasn't obvious.

Perhaps I didn't mean to ask "what is it?" I probably meant "where have I seen this before?"

"Neither of you use it unless you absolutely have to, understand?" I looked back down at the professors urgent eyes as both Caspian and I nodded. I placed the horn inside Caspian's belt loop for safe-keeping. "There's so much more I wish I could tell you both, but…. I can tell you this."

Somehow, I knew he was speaking the truth and nothing but the truth as he said, "Everything you know is about to change."

As if on cue, the sound of alarmed people started to ring out from in the castle. "Go to the woods," the professor cried. "Go!"

I nodded my head frantically before grabbing the reigns. I kicked the side of the horse with the two stirrups and we were off running in no time. Usually, I would enjoy the wind rushing through my long brown hair and the feeling of flying, but tonight, it had a different meaning. This was my only way to freedom. If I failed, I most likely die.

As we rode to the front gate, a guard stepped in our way, trying to knock us off with a large pole. I screamed and ducked my head in time for Caspian to grab it and knock the guard to the side. Outside of the gate, he threw it into a fireplace and it exploded, causing the outside guards enough scare to jump away and I took the chance to ride right past them. Behind me, I could hear the sound of the fireworks as it illuminated the village streets before us, but I didn't dare stop to look back.

I don't know if it was the adrenaline or not, but it didn't take long for us to make it into the woods. We lost a couple of the men as we trudged the horse through a deep stream, but I was almost positive that they were still trailing us, so I didn't stop.

I heard Caspian call "Lost Girl," but with the wind roaring, I couldn't tell what he was trying to say.

"What? What was that?"

The tree branch came out of nowhere, I swear! I just had enough time to lean forward and yell "duck!" before I heard a _thump_ from behind me. I looked over my shoulder to see Caspian was trailing behind us, his pant leg caught in my stirrup.

"Caspian!" I pulled back on the reigns to stop the horse but he was far too spooked just like me.

I didn't notice when Caspian got his leg out as I continued to try and get the horse to stop. The atmosphere becoming darker and darker as the horse continued going that it was hard to see my hands in front of my face.

"Whoa, boy, whoa!"

I got him to finally stop. But he reared back and I lost balance of the saddle. My feet quickly slid out of their place on the stirrups and I went falling back into the damp leaves and the mossy ground. I had just barely heard a slight sound of a horn, just a second to think about how familiar it sounded to me- where have I heard that before?

And then my head bounced hard on the solid ground and everything went black.


	3. The One with the Horn

_"_ _Want some toast?"_

 _The boy with dark hair held out the piece of bread to me. He was even kind enough to add a slab of butter to it. I had been watching him devour food for nearly an hour now. He had every right to be starving, though; the dungeon food wasn't very satisfying for the stomach. Or the soul. I couldn't help but glance down at his busted lip and wonder how much it hurt._

 _I quickly looked away before he could tell that I was staring and shook my head, "No, I don't really eat anymore, remember?"_

 _I watched his face fall in defeat. "I'm sorry," he mumbled, "I keep forgetting."_

 _I gave him a reassuring smile and went to pat his shoulder before I remembered that I couldn't touch him. I sighed, "It's alright, Ed. If it helps, I can't remember what food taste like, so I don't really remember what I'm missing."_

 _"_ _Doesn't that worry you?" Another voice asked. I turned my head to see the other three kids looking down at me. The older boy had spoken up again before I could ask them how long they were standing there, "I mean…. You've explained that you're slowly forgetting small things, and… Doesn't that bother you?"_

 _I shrugged, fully knowing that ignorance was bliss._

 _When I leave, I won't remember this. When I leave, I won't miss this._

 _"_ _It's not like I've forgotten anything important. It's just the small things."_

 _For now._

 **No Name's POV**

The light was dim when I reopened my eyes. My head throbbed immensely and my whole body felt stiff and stuck. When I became aware of my surroundings, I wasn't looking at the dark envelope of leaves above my head but the middle of a round ceiling. Nothing compared to the castles' ceiling though. 

I tried to recall my dream, understand what it was about and why it felt so real, but I was interrupted before I could. I sat up on the fur covered bed just as Caspian walked in. He had to duck to keep his head from hitting the ceiling. It felt good to see a familiar place in such an unfamiliar setting.

As soon as he sat down at the end of the bed, I asked, "Where are we?"

He opened his mouth as if ready to give an explanation, but nothing came out. His brows furrowed together as if he was struggling to find words. He frowned at the dirt floor as I watched him, slowly becoming more aware of what had happened before.

"Where are the guards? The horse? You fell! What…"

My words died in my throat as I saw the strangest thing I've ever seen; even odder than my bizarre dreams. A badger walked into the room carrying a handful of bandages. He walked on his hind legs as if he was walking like a person and when he looked up, he _smiled_ at me.

"Oh, hello," the badger said. "It's good to see you're awake."

I'm sure if it was ANYONE but me, they would've had something intelligent or at least sensible to say, but the first thing that came out of my mouth was, "B-but… You're a badger!"

"Indeed, I am." The badger sighed before placing the bandages on my head. I glanced at Caspian who somehow didn't seem surprised as the badger added, "How's your head?"

I reached up to touch the bandages that I had just noticed and gave a shaky laugh, "I really don't know."

Caspian placed a hand on my knee then and I've never seen him so serious. "Look… We need to talk."

 **Caspian's POV**

 _"_ _Everything you know is about to change."_

I didn't know what to expect when the professor had given us his warning. But then again, there were a lot of things I hadn't expected; my Uncle had a son and tried to kill me, the professor threw me and Lost Girl on the back of a horse and told us to run, I almost died but two dwarves and a talking badger saved me.

Granted, Nikabrik wanted to kill me on sight. He believed I was a solider, out to find them and kill them. But I didn't even know they were still alive.

Lost Girl sat silently as the badger checked over her bandages and told her about how they've been in hiding ever since the Kings and Queens of Old disappeared. I watched her as she stared fixatedly on a random spot in the dirt, wondering what she was thinking. It wasn't until the badger left the room that she had finally spoke up:

"They've been hiding for so long…" she whispered.

I nodded, "They have."

Before I could put more input into the conversation and ask her if she was hungry, she added, "He said the horn has woken started everything? What does that mean?"

I hesitated just a tad before pulling the horn out of my pocket. It was heavy in my hand as if it bore the responsibility of the whole world. I held it out to her and she took it gently in her tiny hands as if it might break.

"He said it was magic," I explained. "Just like the stories the professor told… They believe it will bring us the Kings and Queens of old."

"And you don't?" I looked up at her brown eyes as she whispered, "You don't believe it?"

"They've been gone for years…" I reminded her. "Thousands and thousands of years… I don't even think they're still alive!"

She went silent again as her gaze drifted down to the horn that she still held close to her. She ran her thumb along the tooth of the porcelain lion and the only sound in the room was her quiet breathing and mine.

I never told her this, but I didn't name her Lost Girl because she was lost when she came to us. Although she looked hungry and scared when she first appeared in our throne room, she was anything but lost to me. She belonged in that castle more than any of us did; she learned subjects and weaponry far faster than any of the men in that stone building. She was never lost, I was.

Every time I looked at her, I found myself trying to understand her. She was like a painting that hadn't been colored in yet; it was all there, yet the details were missing. But the calm demeanor she had was almost unsettling. Then again, how are you supposed to react when you can't remember a single detail of your life? I always found myself lost in thoughts when I watched her and tried to understand what could possibly be going through her head.

Even badger had seemed curious of her situation when she was pasted out. He kept asking me questions like her name and where she came from. They were all questions I couldn't answer. And I couldn't ask Lost Girl because she wouldn't know either. Luckily, after she had woken up, his questions went to sleep.

One thing I do know, is she always takes me by surprise. And once again, she left me wordless as she asked, "Then what are we going to do?"

I'm determined to understand how she thinks, one day. But that day isn't going to be today.

 **No Name's POV**

I did my best not to laugh, but they definitely weren't the best hide-and-seekers.

Caspian and I had grabbed our things and left the hidden house on foot; Caspian's plan was to find the rest of the Narnians and form an army. It was about time they fight back. I didn't question it- not because it sounded like a good idea- but because I owed it to him. He gave me a temporary home, now I will have his back for as long as he needs me.

However, ever since we left, Nikabrik and Trufflehunter had been trying to sneakily follow us. I knew Caspian knew about our intruders as soon as he rolled his eyes. I stifled a giggle behind my hand.

"We can hear you," Caspian sighed.

We turned around as the two Narnians stepped out of their hiding spot behind trees. They both looked highly guilty as the badger cried, "I still think it'd be best to wait for the kings and queens."

I looked up at Caspian, slightly agreeing with the badger, but not open to admit it. The Kings and Queens would be helpful right about now, but Caspian was right; they could be dead for all we know. I let go of the breath I was holding as Caspian rolled his eyes again and continued walking. My shoulders slumped slightly as I followed them.

"You believe they'll come, don't you, Lost Girl?" The badger asked as they ran up to walk right behind us.

I want to believe. "I trust Caspian and if he thinks it's best to find the others now, then I'll follow him."

"Thank you." Caspian smiled.

"Well, then I want to come too." Nikabrik announced, surprising all three of us. "It should be funny, watching you try to convince the Minotaurs to follow you."

"Minotaurs?" Caspian asked, his eyes wide.

"And the centaurs," Trufflehunter added.

There was a short pause as I tried to picture what a centaur might look like in person. The upper body of a human and lower body of a horse; that is what the professor had told us.

"What about Aslan?" Caspian asked quietly.

 _"_ _I'm here…. You are not alone…"_ I jumped at the sound of the voice, it was the same one I heard in the dungeon. The deep, low growl was calming and reassuring in the cold, dark dungeon. But I hadn't expected to hear it outside in the light. It sounded so close, as if the person had whispered it in my ear.

Luckily, no one had seen my odd reaction.

"How do you know so much about us?" Nikabrik asked, running a hand through his dark beard.

"Stories," Caspian answered.

"Your father told you stories?"

I flinched again but this time, it was because I knew how much Caspian hated talking about his father. His dark eyes always seemed to turn cold and distant when someone mentioned him. He never fully got over his father's death… But then again, who really ever gets over the death of a loved one?

"No…." I spoke up, still watching Caspian as he glared at the bush in front of him. "Our professor, he-,"

"These aren't the types of questions you should be asking," Caspian hissed before he continued walking.

"Caspian…" I sighed, unsure of how to reassure him.

Nikabrik and I turned to Trufflehunter, who usually knew what to do, but Trufflehunter seemed to be distracted, turning his head to each side. He tilted his little nose up to the air and took a deep breath.

"Human," he said, suddenly very alert.

"Who? Her?" Nikabrik shot a thumb my way.

"No," the badger shook his black and white head, "Them."

I felt as though my heart was going to fall into my stomach when I finally heard them. I looked behind us to see the line of guards making their way towards us. It wasn't hard for them to spot my white dress in the thick of green bushes and my eyes widen as they raised their bows and aimed their arrows right at us.

"Doesn't look like they're here to discuss things," I attempted at a lame joke, trying to stay calm. It didn't last long as I heard an arrow whiz pass right by my head. I screamed as one of the arrows pierced the badger's leg and he fell over. "Trufflehunter!"

Caspian ran over and bent down next to the badger just as he held the horn out to me. "Take the horn! It's more important than I am!"

"What?!" I squealed, jumping slightly as another arrow flew past my head.

"The horn!"

Caspian snatched the horn and shoved it into my hands. "Just take it! I'll carry him! Run!"

I followed behind Nikabrik, hoping that Caspian was doing well with Trufflehunter. Nikabri's head bobbed up and down as we ran. My bare feet hurt against the solid dirt and my legs were scrapped by the bushes we ran through. The only thing I could hear over the pounding of my heart was the arrows flying past my head. And the scream.

I risked a glance over my shoulder and was surprised to see Caspian had stopped and was watching the soldiers as they went down one by one. I couldn't tell what was tearing them down, but whatever it was quickly made its way through the bushes, right towards Caspian.

"Caspian!" I squealed just as he was launched onto his back. But the rest of the words died in my mouth and my feet were planted firmly in the ground as I saw the tiny figure perched on Caspian's chest. He was a small mouse with a red feather around his head and a sword in his hand. He had the sword held out at Caspian's face.

"Pick up your sword, soldier!"

Luckily, Caspian was smart enough to leave his sword lying next to his head. "I-I rather not…"

"Reepicheep!" I turned to see Nikabrik had Trufflehunter tight in his arms. Trufflehunter looked highly worried for Caspian, but I couldn't help but think about how cute the mouse was. And very courageous, too. "Let him go."

"And why should I do that?!" Reepicheep asked, looking alarmed that Trufflehunter would even suggest it.

"You shouldn't," Nikabrik quickly said before Trufflehunter shot him a glare. "Sorry. Go ahead."

"He's the one who blew the horn!"

"Then let him come forward." A deeper voice said.

I turned my head away from the mouse to several centaurs standing only a few feet from us. They were tall and built with muscle.

Upper body of a human and lower body of a horse; just like the professor said.


	4. What's In A Name?

**Chapter 4: What's in a Name?**

 **No Name's POV**

 **T** he Minotaurs were probably the scariest part of the meeting. They were large creatures covered in ratted fur and each and every single one of them carried a large steel axe in their gigantic hands. Every time I made eye contact with one of them, my hold body would shake and I would immediately look down at the ground.

"They won't harm you," Reepicheep had tried to assure me before we gathered around to determine mine and Caspian's fate. He was such a sweet, little mouse. And it was so hard to bite my tongue and not call him cute. I'm sure he wouldn't appreciate it if I did.

"Unless you give them a reason to," Nikabrik would add.

So, I made sure not to give them a reason to by staying very far away from them.

The worst part was the things they shouted:

"They're traitors!"

"Kill them!"

"Hang 'em from their toes!"

However, even some of the centaurs and other talking creatures had begun shouting this. They were angry that Telmarines were in their presence. If I was even a Telmarine to begin with. But some believed I was pretending not to know who I was as a façade to get people to feel bad for me and trust me. I would be lying if I didn't tell you that it angered me that they thought this way. They had every right now to trust me, but I only wished I was pretending.

I didn't speak my opinion, though. Caspian tried desperately to convince them.

"You would hold me accountable for what my people have done to yours?"

"Accountable," Nikabrik agreed as he stepped forward, "AND punishable."

"That's rich coming from someone like you," Reepicheep pointed out. "It was your people who worked for the White Witch."

I held my breath. Why did that name scare me so much? Who was she? Perhaps the professor hadn't explained everything to me.

"And I'd do it again to get rid of these Telmarine filth." He growled, knocking the sword Reepicheep had pointed in his face out of the way.

"So, you rather get rid of him than have he follow Aslan?" Trufflehunter asked, looking concerned. Nikabrik said nothing, but seemed to glance at the unsettled audience around him. "Look, Narnia was never in good hands until a son of Adam was on the throne."

"You want him to be our King?!" A female centaur cried in astonishment.

"Well, why not?" I hadn't meant to speak up, but I couldn't help myself. "None of you have proven why he shouldn't be King…" I felt the color in my cheeks rise as all eyes were on me now and I was just glad that it was too dark for any of them to see me. "You've only proven that his people are Telmarines… Telmarine or not, he is here. With you, on your side." I had been holding the horn close to me so far, but now I raised it high into the air. "THIS horn, whether it be magic or not, has brought us all together. And together, we can take back what's rightfully yours. We can take back Narnia!"

Caspian seemed just as surprised as me to hear some hoots and hollers. He quickly turned to the lead centaur, Glenstorm, and spoke with the confidence that he lacked from before. "Outside these woods, I am a King. It is rightfully my throne. Therefore, when I obtain that throne and all that is rightfully mine, I will give Narnia back to the Narnians, where it belongs."

And I believed him. We all did. For Glenstorm held out his sword along with many other centaurs and said, "Then you have my sword."

So, then it was decided that we would find form an army and meet up at Aslan's How. We were going to war.

 _I was still lying in the grass when I opened my eyes. It was no longer dark out but the Narnians and Caspian continued to sleep around me. I could no longer see the Minotaurs that were keeping watch. Odd, I thought. Had they accidentally fallen asleep?_

 _There was a sudden noise from my right that must have been the thing that woke me. Usually, I would've paused and thought through what to do; wake the others? It could be an enemy… But I didn't hesitate to get up and find the source of noise myself this time._

 _The rays of light shining through the trees were much more prominent this morning and the leaves seemed to shake as if they were dancing. Looking closely, I could see that the branches were in fact shaking in a movement that looked a lot like playful dancing. I giggled as I walked past the dancing trees and into the clearing ahead. There, standing in an open field of grass, stood a lion. And I gasped when he turned his large head to look at me, but I was not afraid. No, I knew him. I've always known him._

 _"_ _Aslan…" I let out the breath I was holding as he smiled at me. I made my way over to him where he was close enough to touch. "You're here?"_

 _"_ _I wanted to speak to you." He told me, his voice deep and low. It was a calming noise to hear._

 _"_ _To me? Have I done something wrong?"_

 _"_ _Of course not. You've been helping me all along, child."_

 _I have? I tried thinking back to what I could've possibly done to help him, but nothing came to me. Then I realized, I couldn't remember how I know him or how he knows me. And I still had no name._

 _"_ _Aslan… Why don't I have a name?" I whispered, reaching out to touch him. His long mane was softer than anything I've ever felt. Almost like the richest of satin. I ran my hand through it a couple of times as I listened to what he had to say._

 _"_ _You've always had a name, dear one." He gently rubbed the side of his head against my shoulder. "You've just forgotten it."_

 _"_ _Why? Why did I forget?"_

 _"_ _It was what needed to be done, considering where you went." He spoke to me in a riddle I couldn't understand. "Trust me, there will be a time when you attain your memories once again, but you have other things to worry about in the meantime."_

 _I nodded my head, "You mean I need to help Caspian, don't you?"_

 _He chuckled. The sound was so sweet that I smiled along although I remained confused. "Not just Caspian, my child. You need to guide them all."_

 _"_ _All of who? All the Narnians?!"_

 _"_ _The children."_

 _I counted the humans in my head. "Sir… There's only Caspian and I…"_

I opened my eyes once more and blinked a few times to adjust to the darkness. I turned my head to see the back of Caspian's, just barely visible from what was left of the fire we had made that night. I hesitated before reaching out and tapping his shoulder. I was surprised when he turned to face me.

"Sorry," I whispered, "Did I wake you?"

He shook his head, his long, dark hair falling in front of his face. "No. I couldn't sleep." He searched my face with his dark eyes before asking, "Bad dream?"

I struggled to find the right words. "Not really… Bad. Just odd."

"What's so odd about it?"

"Well, lately, I've been having these dreams that seem… Well, familiar…"

I knew what he was going to say then before he even opened his mouth. "Do you think they're memories?"

I thought back to all the dreams I had in the dungeons. The ones of the kids whose names I couldn't remember; the ones where we laughed and joked around like old friends. How the boy with dark hair threw his head back any time he laughed at something I said. I would love for that to be real, to have that happy past, even if I couldn't remember it.

But then the lady with the dark eyes and pale face flashed in my mind and I shook my head.

"Couldn't be…"

Could it?

"Will you two _please_ just shut your mouth and your eyes, and go to sleep?" A grumpy voice from Nikabrik was heard nearby.

Caspian smiled at me apologetically, but my mind was already elsewhere. These children I saw in my dreams… Who were they? And why did they look so familiar?

It was only a dream. Right?

 **Edmund's POV**

"No, stop!" I woke suddenly to the sound of my sister's cry. She sounded worried and afraid; it wasn't a sound anyone would enjoy waking up to.

My concern for her filled me with adrenaline as I jumped up and ran to where I heard her voice. I had my hand on the hilt of my sword, ready to pull it out if I must, but I stopped short when I reached Lucy's side, taking in the view in front of me.

We were face to face with Narnians. Centaurs and animals all around. However, I shuddered at the presence of the Minotaurs. It looked as though they had finally switched sides. However, it didn't stop me from remembering the time when they weren't on our side.

There was one other son of Adam, who stood and pointed Peter's own sword at him. So, this must be Caspian.

"Peter!" Susan cried, looking flustered at the scene before us.

"High King Peter?" Caspian asked, seemingly surprised.

"Yes," Peter responded knowingly.

Caspian's dark eyebrow shot up in confusion. "You're a lot younger than I imagined…"

Peter rolled his eyes and took a step away. "Well, we can come back in a few years-."

"No!" Caspian quickly interrupted. "You're just not what I expected…"

I didn't notice the look he gave to Susan. I was too preoccupied with glancing over at the nearest minotaur. He looked far too comfortable with that heavy axe in his hand. "Neither are you…"

"Your Majesty," the mouse with the red feather on his head stepped forward and gave a large bow to the floor, almost causing his nose to touch the dirt. "It is an honor."

"Oh my gosh, he's so cute…" I heard Lucy whisper to Susan.

"Who said that?!" If the little guy's face could turn red, I'm sure it would've. He aimed his sword around, searching for the person who shot at his pride.

"Sorry," Lucy said, practically shrinking back in embarrassment.

"Oh… You highness… If I may, perhaps "chivalrous" "courtesy" or "daring" would better suit a knight of Narnia."

I tried my best to hide the smile that was threatening to come loose. This little guy surely knew how to use big words. Such big words for such a small one.

And then her laughter caused my heart to throw itself against my chest.

She walked forward then and I had to wonder how I didn't notice her there in the first place. She was almost the same as when she left. Her brown hair was much longer now, reaching the middle of her back and she stood a few inches taller like I did. Neither of us were small anymore and I don't know if it was the shock of seeing her or not, but something about that smile on her face looked a whole lot different than it used to.

"Stand down, Reepicheep." She giggled. "I'm sure she didn't mean anything by it."

Reepicheep cleared his throat and smoothed some of the fur back on his head. "No, of course not… I was just offering some inspiring words for her vocabulary…"

She nodded, "Oh, of course." However, the teasing smile was still on her face. It lit up her whole being, even shining in her eyes. Was she able to do that before? It did look nice on her. I caught myself thinking she should smile like that all the time.

But all too soon, the moment was ruined by the usual image of blood and hearing her cry out in pain. I had held her in my arms that day as she died…

So, what in Aslan's mane was she doing here?

"Jessabelle?" My voice came out shaky as did the oxygen that left my lungs. I almost felt like I was suffocating. Like someone had their hands wrapped tight around my throat.

She didn't respond to it. Of course she didn't. Her name was the last thing to leave her before she died.

However, she did look up to find all eyes were on her. Except Caspian, who was watching me, looking more confused now than ever.

Her cheeks flushed slightly at the newly found attention she was getting. "W-why are you all staring?"

 **Jessabelle's POV**

Jessabelle.

Of course, I recognized the four of them when I saw them. I was hiding behind a tree when they first appeared. They all had slight differences, though; the youngest girl had longer hair now, the oldest girl stood with a sense of who she was, the blonde guy had a little bit of hair growing at the chin, and the dark haired boy stood much taller than he did in my dream. They had all grown to look a little different, but they were definitely from my dreams.

The dark haired boy had said a name and I swear he was looking straight at me the whole time, even after the oldest girl cleared her throat and shook her head at him. But he looked at me like he wasn't expecting to see me. Like he was surprised to see me- a normal girl- standing there before him. Was it the hair?

As we walked along with the other four, I absentmindedly brushed my hair out of my face. It had begun to look like a tangled mess without the proper care.

Whatever the reason might've been, the boy said a name. _Jessabelle_.

And as I walked behind him, eyeing the back of his head and admiring the shape of his shoulders, I couldn't help but feel deep down in my heart and in my head that it sounded just right.


	5. Red

**Chapter 6: Red**

 **Jessabelle's POV**

 _It wasn't long before the White Witch took over that I met Mr. Tumnus. The sky had just turned cloudy and snow now covered the ground in layers. The adaption to the cold was harsh, but I had nowhere to go but onward. I wasn't sure where I was headed as long as it was somewhere warm. Mr. Tumnus took me in one day, when he found me walking and shivering in the cold, the only thing to keep me warm was the red scarf around my neck._

 _He brought me in for tea. Introduced me to his odd looking flute. Played me a lullaby._

 _Before I knew it, I woke up in the White Witch's dungeon, still shivering from the cold. My neck exposed because of the missing scarf._

 _"_ _Hello? Mr. Tumnus?"_

 _"_ _He's abandoned you." I heard a growl nearby. One of the White Witch's wolf guards stood outside my cell, glaring me down. I pressed my back into the ice wall as he added, "He turned you into the queen."_

 _"_ _Why would he do that?" I cried, my voice cracking under the fresh tears that were ready to come._

 _"_ _He's loyal to HER."_

 _A tear fell, hot down my cheek. Almost freezing to my skin from the cold atmosphere. "He's been tricked…"_

 _"_ _No. He's smart, unlike you." He pressed his furry face against the bars, poking his nose through as if to sniff me. "Your kind don't belong here anymore."_

 _It was a long, long time before they threw Mr. Tumnus in the cell next to mine. He cried and cried, and cried some more when he saw me. He begged me to forgive him, but I had already done that a while ago. There was no room for holding grudges where I was._

 _"_ _My scarf…" I pointed out that he was wearing the red fabric around his neck._

 _"_ _H-here! Here, please!" He held the scarf out to me but I merely shook my head._

 _"_ _No, it's okay. You need it more than I do," I resisted the urge to scratch at the scars on my wrist, the ones I got from the chains being too tight. I tried ignoring the pain in my temple where blood oozed from my previous beating for yelling at the "queen". Most of all, my bones ached from lying on the cold, hard ground. But there was one thing that was for certain, "Besides, I don't really feel cold anymore…"_

 **** **Caspian's POV**

"You really think she's an angel?" I asked, sitting next to Edmund on a pair of stone steps, both of us dryly chewing on some bread rolls offered to us by the centaurs.

Edmund's eyes remained on Lost Girl, who he assumed to be Jessabelle, as she sat across the room, letting Susan braid her hair. I let my eyes trail to the older brunette whose hands trailed over the younger girl's hair. Lucy sat next to them, talking excitedly about something that we couldn't hear. When I asked my question, he leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees and stared down at the ground.

"You don't believe us, do you?" He asked.

I chuckled. "I mean… Not really. I've known her for a few months now, she seems like a normal person to me." Edmund's eyes lifted off the ground as Lost Girl got up from her spot on the ground and ran over to help Peter who had been trying to carry many weapons at once and lost balance, resulting in the swords and axes falling to the ground with a _clash._ "Besides, if she died, why would she be here now?"

Edmund shrugged. "No idea… But she died once before and came back… Who is to say she can't do it again?"

"Right. You mean, when she died in the castle."

"Yes, and then Aslan sent her back to me."

"Why?"

His eyes still trained on her as she talked to Peter, he simply said, "He believed she would save me, guide me. And she did."

I leaned back against the step; not the most comfortable position, but I needed to stretch my back and let all this information sink in. I did as Edmund did and watched Jessabelle. She helped Peter carry half of his load to a table a few feet away. She waddled a little under the weight before setting the weapons down and then she smiled up at Peter as he talked to her.

"Did you love her?" I asked him as I turned to see he was still starring.

Whether or not he wanted to admit it, his cheeks flushed immensely. He copied my posture as he leaned back against the stone steps, trying to look more relaxed than he was. But I noticed how his face colored and his shoulders tensed up.

"We were just kids," he explained as his eyes automatically found her in the room full of people once more. "I was elven, she was merely ten years old, and I didn't know what love was."

I shrugged and took a bite of my bread before asking, "Do you now?"

He rolled his eyes just slightly, seeming a tad irritated with me and probably feeling defensive, which I thought was humorous. "She's my best friend, even if she doesn't remember me. She doesn't need to remember, I remember enough for the both of us." I could tell he was lying, though. It upset him to the core that she couldn't remember.

"You've barely spoken to her since we ran into each other," I pointed out.

His eyes fell once more, making him look almost guilty. "I figured she'd like her space…"

"You're afraid to talk to her?"

He turned his head to look at me for the first time and I could've sworn I saw flames spark deep in them. I had hit a nerve that I didn't know existed.

"What am I supposed to say?" He growled. "What do you say to your dead-not-so-dead best friend who died for YOU? I'm not my siblings, I'm not going to just pretend everything is okay and act like this isn't complicated because it is! It's highly complicated with a dash of bizarre and insane!"

"Something wrong?" We both snapped out of it as another voice had spoken up. Jessabelle and Peter stood standing in front of us, both looking a little concerned and confused.

"No." Edmund quickly replied, his eyes lingering on her just a second longer than usual before he dropped his gaze back to the floor, taking a small bite of his bread.

I sighed. This was clearly going nowhere.

"Edmund thinks you're an angel." I told her.

Her first reaction was complete confusion; if it had lasted longer than a few seconds, I might've laughed at the expression she made on her face. But the expression quickly transformed to a dust of pink on her cheeks and the look of embarrassment. Then, finally, realization hit and she looked back at Edmund, seeming as surprised as I had expected her to be.

"You think I'm the angel?" She asked. "The one who saved your life."

He rolled his eyes once more, but turned his head so she couldn't see.

Peter then spoke up, "Come on, Jessabelle. I'm sure they were just arguing about something irrelevant. Lets-."

"And why do you guys keep calling me that?" She turned her attention to Peter. "That was her name, wasn't it? The angel who watched over you guys. Her name was Jessabelle."

"We don't have to talk about this," he started to say, but she cut him off.

"No, I want to know." Once again, she looked to Edmund and was surprised to see him looking back at her. "Well? Was that her name?"

I continuously turned my head from her to him, over and over again for what felt like forever. It was almost like they were communicating internally, like they could understand one another without any words; however, I was completely lost.

Finally, Edmund spoke up in a quiet, defeated voice. "Yes. That _was_ her name." He tossed what was left of his bread aside and straightened out his tunic. 'Sorry. Thought the name suited you. Don't worry. Won't use it again." And with that, he quickly walked off.

Peter sighed, shooting me a quick glare. "Good going."

When Jessabelle looked down at me, I merely shrugged. "What did I do?" I asked.

"I'll go check on him."

"No, please…" Jessabelle glanced down the hall he disappeared in before speaking up. "Let me."

 **Edmund's POV**

Perhaps I was wrong. Maybe it wasn't her…

She surely looked like her, though. Even acted like her. Everyone watched Peter dropped those swords, except her: she rushed to help him. She helps everyone. She helped me.

But why would she be back? Why would she die TWICE and then come back to me both times? Did she enjoy my suffering? It hurt. It hurt a lot to see her walking around and talking like nothing ever happened. It did happen: she died. Right in my arms.

As I sat on the stone table, I peered down at the palm of my hands and could still see the blood slipping through my fingers. It was her blood because I was there, but I wasn't fast enough to save her. I was only there to hold her when she disappeared. Literally. Most people take their last breathe, close their eyes, then they're gone.

But her hold body slipped right through my hands as if she was made out of air. The only thing left of her was the red blood on my hands.

 **Jessabelle's POV**

I walked into the room as silently as I could. Although Edmund sat on the stone table with his back to me, I knew he heard me come in as his shoulders stiffened and he lifted his head just a tad. I continued to walk forward though until I was standing on the other end of the table.

"You know, usually when someone walks away from a conversation, they're done talking?" He told me, trying to sound harsh. However, he was failing miserably. He sounded too upset to be sarcastic right now.

But I could be sarcastic, too. "Too bad. I wasn't done talking."

He laughed dryly and shook his head, his long, dark hair following the movement. He kept his back to me as he asked, "What more could you want to know?"

"How did you guys meet?" I don't think that was actually what I wanted to ask, but it was the first thing that popped out of my mouth. For some reason, I wanted to know more about this girl- this angel. It was important for me to understand her if he was comparing me to her.

"Doesn't matter." I watched his head fall once more as he looked down at his hands. "She's gone."

I sighed, walking around the table to sit beside him. "I just… I want to understand… Why are you so sure that I am her?"

"Because she's my best friend," he replied without a second of hesitation. Still starring at the ground, he explained, "That's like asking how I know how to breathe: I just do."

That brought me up short. It certainly wasn't the response I was expecting: although, now I wasn't sure what to expect. Sighing, I peered up at the carving of Aslan.

"He brought you to me…" I turned to see him looking up at Aslan as well. "When you died- the first time- I thought for sure I was going to die next, but the White Witch spared my life, just to use me as a pawn. I was scared and alone… But one night, you showed up again."

 _"_ _Edmund!" I whispered as loud as I could. I knew touching him was pointless and wouldn't work, so I did my best to wake him up without frightening him. If he screamed now, the guards would surely wake up or Tumnus would, and they'd find him crazy for saying he could see me. No one could see me but him, Aslan, and his siblings. That was one of Aslan's warnings._

 _When he jumped up, my head turned to the cell and I sighed in relief when none of the sleeping trolls stirred. "About time you woke up," I grinned._

 _"_ _Jessabelle?" He looked at me with wide eyes, almost in terror. "B-but… How? I watched them drag you away… Y-you're dead…."_

 _"_ _He sent me to watch over you, Edmund."_

 _"_ _Who did?" He whispered._

 _"_ _Aslan! He's real, Ed, and he asked me to guide you."_

 _Still looking confused, he asked another question just as Aslan told me he would, "Guide me where?"_

 _"_ _Back to your siblings," I explained. "And to him."_

"Why would he send someone like me?" I asked him, looking back up at Aslan's stone eyes. "I'm just a girl…"

We were close enough where we weren't touching, but I could still feel him shrug his shoulders. "Don't know." There was a hint of smiling in his voice as he added, "But you told me you were my guardian angel."

"That's why everyone knows about the 'angel'."

"Of course," his voice turned into a new form of quietness. It was soft. "I wasn't going to let the memory of you disappear… Not after you saved me…"

I could feel my eyes water a tad at the corners, blurring my vision slightly as I stared at the blank form of Aslan's eyes, nothing like his real eyes. "But it's already disappeared… It disappeared from me, Edmund… I can't remember…"

"Don't cry," he whispered, his voice sounding strained. "I can't comfort you if you do…"

Taking an odd risk, I whispered back, "A hug sometimes helps…" I wasn't sure why I was asking for a hug from him at the moment. I tried to excuse it for the simplest reason: I needed a hug and he was the only one around. But he flinched slightly at my request.

"I can't…"

"Why?" I asked, suddenly more frustrated than ever. "Let me guess, you're going to tell me my touch is poison now, too? What else don't I know about myself?"

"You're touch doesn't exist!" He snapped.

"What are you talking about?!"

"I can't touch you. I never could. After your first death, you became transparent—the only time I was able to touch you was when you were dying the second time, in my ar-."

I took the chance, reached out and grabbed his wrist. His breath hitched slightly at the newfound contact and his eyes were wide as he looked down. The shock of it somehow reached me somewhere in the back of my mind as well. It left us both speechless for a second.

"I'm not a ghost, Edmund…" I whispered, feeling a little breathless at the unexplainable emotions that ran through me. I didn't realize how hard I was squeezing him until I attempted to let go and color returned back to my knuckles.

But I froze once more as his fingers curled around mine. "Wait…" He took a deep breath, still starring down at his hands. He was silent for the longest time and I took the opportunity to observe him up close. His eyes were lighter than I had expected, reminding me of the fur on a teddy bear for a young child. His eyelashes were long enough to brush the tops of his cheeks every time he blinked. His nose looked like Lucy's.

"I know you don't remember me…" He started, struggling to find his words. I sat patiently, though, not moving my hand out of his. "I know you don't remember yourself either… But you don't need to."

"I don't?"

He shook his head, finally looking up at me. We were closer than I realized when he lifted his head and I quickly leaned away. He took another deep breath before replying.

"No. Because you're my best friend either way."

A tear slipped before I even realized it was forming. Edmund frowned and almost dropped my hand, but then decided against it, and just held onto it tighter.

"I'm sorry…" he whispered. "I didn't mean to make you cry."

"I'm tired." I stated. "I'm tired of not knowing who I am. I'm tired of not being able to remember, of not understanding…" I choked back a sob, but that didn't stop the tears. "I'm just so exhausted, Edmund…"

He sighed, letting go of my hand this time. The lack of warmth came as such a shock that it stopped the tears immediately. But before I could wonder why, he placed his hand on my shoulder. I looked at him through my blurry vision.

"Come here," he offered.

I felt awkward about it at first even though I didn't hesitate to lean forward and lay my forehead on his shoulder. It took him about a minute before he wrapped one arm around my shoulders. The action caused me to move forward more and before I fell over, I scooted closer, burying my face in his shirt.

He smelled like the soil and the grass soaked in sunlight and rain. For some reason the smell steered me straight into calming down. I felt him wrap his other arm around me and hold me tighter, squeezing just slightly.

 **Caspian's POV**

"See? There was nothing to worry about." She whispered as we spied on her brother and Lost Girl. We were peering around the corner at them, watching them hug. Although Susan had promised me that he wouldn't lay a hand on her, no matter how angry he was, I still felt it was necessary to check on them. She was right. But I wasn't going to say that.

"You said he wouldn't lay a hand on her," I smiled at her teasingly. "But now they're HUGGING. You lied."

I watched as she did her best not to laugh. But I felt victorious nonetheless as she smiled. "You knew what I meant. He wouldn't hurt her, ever."

"Of course not. He's so smitten with her."

She gave me a pointed look, "He's only sixteen years old."

I shrugged, still smiling. "A first love never dies, not really."

"What would you know about first love?" She giggled before turning and walking away.

As I watched her braid swinging to and fro behind her, the red ribbon tied to the endof her hair shined in the light of the torch.

I whispered, "I'm still learning."


	6. Separate Sides

**Chapter 7: Separate Sides**

 **Edmund's POV**

I held her longer than I expected to. She didn't move and neither did I.

It was the longest hug I ever had. She smelled like flowers- like the ones Lucy had her wear on her head the day before. Her hair was long enough to cascade down my arms as I wrapped them around her shoulders. As she buried her face deeper into my sleeve, I let one of my hands travel through her wavy hair. It was soft and warm. I stopped myself as the thought of kissing her head popped into my mind. That'd be too much. Right?

Minutes ticked on by I'm sure, but I didn't complain. I didn't feel the need to. Finally, she moved once more, but to my disappointment, it was to pull away. I reluctantly let go, enjoying the hug more than I cared to admit and trying not to show it. Her warmth disappeared immediately. I didn't notice how cold it was before she let go, but now I felt frozen.

She wiped her eyes with the back of her hands, her eyes a little pink around the edges. She sighed, "I've ruined your shirt…"

She reached up and rubbed the area where her tears left a puddle. I only glanced down at it briefly before shrugging my shoulders, "It's not ruined. Just a little drenched."

She smiled slightly, still avoiding my eyes though. "Sorry if that was… awkward…"

I shook my head quickly, "It wasn't. I've wanted to do that for a while." When her eyes met mine, her cheeks changed color. I then realized what I had said and tried my best to fix it, "I-I mean, I couldn't hug you before, so like… I've always wanted to in order to thank you, y'know? F-for saving my life and all…"

"You can thank me later: when I remember saving you."

"You think you'll remember someday?"

She frowned slightly and shrugged her small shoulders. "I hope so."

"I-I mean, I'm sure you will," I stuttered. I don't like it when she frowns. Or when she cries. It squeezes something inside my chest and makes it hard to breathe. And it feels even worse when I can't fix it. "You will one day."

She smiled slightly once more before standing up. I looked up at her, questioningly.

"We should probably get back to the others…" She mumbled. "I'm sure they're concerned about us, since we did just up and leave…"

Before I stood up, Peter walked in. "There you two are," he sighed, standing in the center of the room. "We're having a meeting here."

"A meeting for what?" I asked.

"To figure out what to do next." He explained. He practically did a double-take on Jess, whipping his blonde bangs in front of his face when he did, "You okay, Jessabelle?"

She shifted uncomfortably, smoothing down the front of her dress in a nervous habit. "Yes, I'm alright."

Peter didn't look too convinced and eyed me suspiciously. I simply shook my head: he didn't have to be a part of EVERYTHING. Besides, I think I handled it pretty well. I was able to help her, she doesn't need him too.

When I shook my head, Peter pretended to casually drop it. "Alright, then."

Not long after that, many more people had begun to crowd along the room. Susan and Peter were followed by Reepicheep and two of his men, also dressed in thin swords and feathers on their head. Then came the bears and the hedgehogs, Nikabrik and Trumpkin, and lastly, the centaurs lined up around the stone table.

Lucy climbed up and sat down while Peter started the meeting. "There's been a sighting of a Telmarine solider outside our borders." Slight murmurs were passed to and fro, before he added, "Which means they know where we are. And we must act before they do."

"What are you suggesting, your highness?" Reepicheep asked, standing as tall as he could with his two friends.

"We attack from the inside," Peter stated. Good idea.

"No one has ever been able to do that before…" Caspian said.

"There's always a first."

"And we will have the element of surprise." I pointed out, not noticing the frown that formed on Jessabelle's face.

Susan stood up then, standing by Caspian to all of our surprised. "But here, we could hold them off indefinitely…"

Peter's stone cold look would send shivers down the spine of anyone who received it. It did feel like a stab in the back. But it was more of a stab to the heart when Jess spoke up.

"I do like the idea of staying here better…" She bit her lip under all the stares. "Besides, they don't know this place inside and out like they do their castle. We could use that to our advantage as well." She shared a look with Caspian that I really wish I hadn't seen, before adding, "I've got your back."

He smiled and I really wanted to be the one to get rid of it. "I know."

Peter who seemed to hate the idea of losing to Caspian, spun around to face Glenstorm, the leader of the centaurs. "What do you think? Will you stand with me?"

He nodded solemnly, "Or die trying, my liege."

"That's the problem," Lucy sighed. We all turned to face her, confused, as she sat atop the stone table. "You all act like there are only two options: dying here or dying there."

"I don't think you've been listening-," Peter tried to reason.

But Lucy snapped, "No, YOU'RE not listening, Peter… Or have you forgotten who really defeated the white witch?"

An ink quill could have echoed through the room due to the silence that overcame it after her sentence. I watched Peter's jaw tighten and I knew he wanted so bad to yell at her, why he didn't do it is beyond me.

But he simply put into cold terms, "I think we've waited for Aslan long enough," before he stormed out of the room.

Most of the others followed. In the end, it was down to Caspian, Susan, Jessabelle and me. It was still silent and I could hear the pounding of my heart in my ears. The question scorched my tongue until it finally came out.

"You're siding with him?" I rolled my eyes at Jess, who seemed startled that I even addressed her in the first place, even after our hug.

She shrugged, "Well, I think he's right."

"Do you ALWAYS think he's right?"

"No."

"Edmund, leave it." Susan hissed.

I had this undefined anger building up in me that I couldn't explain, I didn't have words for. How could she side with him? Why him?

With unanswered questions and really odd feelings, I followed Peter's actions and stomped out of the room myself.


	7. Invasion

**Chapter 8: Invasion**

"Are you mad at me or something?"

I didn't know him very well, but I knew when I was getting the cold shoulder. Edmund had been silent with me ever since we decide to take the Telmarine castle from the inside, issuing a surprise attack. However, I was confused on what I had done.

"No," he mumbled.

"You're an awful liar."

"I am not."

"Then why are you lying?" I asked, folding my arms across his chest as he slid his sword into his scabbard. He continued to avoid the question as he turned his back to me, checking his vest to make sure it was secured on his shoulders. "Why are you mad at me?"

He finally whirled around, his ears and cheeks were red. "Because you sided with the-wanna-be Prince!"

"His name is Caspian," I growled.

"Yeah, I know," he sighed. "Don't care."

"Sorry to burst your bubble, but I think Caspian is right. Besides, I've been in that castle and I know how well-guarded it is! It's a stupid idea!"

"You're just saying that because it isn't YOUR idea."

"I didn't even have an idea!"

"Exactly!" He barked.

"You don't make ANY sense," I shouted.

"It's nothing new," he shrugged, brushing off the argument, coldly. "You never were good at understanding me."

Somewhere deep within, that stung. Almost like a slap to the face: one that wasn't really there, but hurt nonetheless. I felt my cheeks and neck flush with anger. I balled my fist at my sides, biting down on my anger.

"I know exactly who you are," I said in a quiet, cold voice. "You're an egoist, jerk who cares about no one but himself."

His eyes met mine for brief second and something swirled behind his brown orbs, something I couldn't make sense of. His gaze was long and I shifted uncomfortable under his stare, expecting him to lung at me or yell more. But he didn't even look angry, anymore. It was a look that I couldn't quite explain. He looked hurt almost.

Before anything else could be said, Peter stepped in. He must've noticed the tight atmosphere for he faltered briefly. "Uh… Everything okay here?"

"Its fine," I said under my breath, moving my eyes from Edmund to my feet.

"Good…" Peter hesitated before adding, "Jessie, I'm sending you with Edmund. You're to watch his back as he signals the other with his torch. It should be an easy shot, just take the one guard out on the tower and take his spot. Wait for the signal to draw the others over."

My disappointment was written all over my face, but I stood up a bit taller and nodded. "Got it."

Peter nodded, turning his attention to Edmund, who didn't look anymore thrilled than I. "You alright, Edmund?"

Before I could look up at him, he had turned his back on both of us. His voice sounded strange as he replied, "Yeah… I'm going to make sure the others are set to go."

Peter and I stood there and watched him go. Edmund's shoulders were slouched more than usual. His older brother turned to me then with a look of skepticism.

"What did you say to Edmund?" He accused.

I scoffed, tucking my hair behind my ears. "I didn't say anything!" There was a long pause as Peter seemed to mull over this lie before I added, "It's not like he cares about what I say, anyways. We're strangers, remember?"

Peter sighed, running a hand through his long blonde locks. "Look, Jessabelle…"

"And quit calling me that." I interrupted him. "I don't know who that is! Whoever she is, she isn't me!" And with that, I turned and left the room just as Edmund had: shoulders slouched and a hole chewing the inside of my chest.

It wasn't long before nightfall came to greet us. We were quit to get going: everyone leaving on their assigned hippogriff. I watched Edmund jump onto his before he held his hand out to me. He still wouldn't look me in the eye, though.

I sighed before placing my hand in his. His long fingers curled around mine before he helped pull me up. Once seated behind him, I hesitated. It wouldn't be hard to hold onto the soft feathers behind me to keep from falling, but honestly, the idea of flying terrified me.

Before I could think of another solution, Edmund's hands found mine once more and he wrapped my arms around his waist. He kept his eyes forward, not bothering to look back at me, but I just barely heard him mumble, "Hold onto me."

I bit my bottom lip, trying not to grumble. How is it that my stomach still flutters, even when I'm angry with him? And why is he being nice when he's made at me?

But honestly, I was too nervous to focus on being angry at the moment. As soon as the animal lifted its paws off the ground, I couldn't stop the sequel that left my mouth. I leaned forward, putting my weight onto Edmund's back and squeezing myself close to him, holding him in a tight grip. I was close enough to feel his chest rumble as he chuckled.

"Don't squish me to death now." He laughed.

"Oh, shut up," I sighed before hiding my face into his shirt as the hippogriff took off into the sky.

We glided through the air, feeling the wind rush through our clothes that would never be thick enough to stop the wind from biting our clothes. The feel of the wind running through my hair increased my curiosity and I removed my head from the spot between Edmund's shoulders to get a good look at our view.

We rushed above trees and flew right below the tinkling of stars. I felt the smile spread on my lips as I reached up. If I closed one of my eyes, it looks like I could pinch one of the stars in between my forefinger and my thumb. I giggled before returning my arm to the spot around Edmund's waist. I felt his hand touch mine as if he needed reassurance that I was still there. I squeezed his torso in return. _I'm still here._

Unfortunately, our view was short-lived because it didn't take us long to get back to the castle. I tensed slightly at the sight of the stone walls and brass gate. Edmund winced under my applied pressure to his waist and I quickly mumbled a "sorry" before loosening my hold.

The hippogriff landed effortlessly on the shingles of our assigned tower. We shifted to the side to avoid the wandering eyes of a Telmarine guard who was keeping watch, before Edmund slid down the roof and behind him. Just before the guard turned around, the hippogriff lifted the man up by the shoulders and disappeared up into the air. Edmund gestured for me to come down and I slid just as he did, but wasn't ready for the landing. Edmund must have sensed this for his hands shot out and caught me around the waist to help support my feet. His touch was warm and I questioned myself for thinking of something so random.

"Thanks," I said as he let go of me.

He just simply nodded his head before standing at the edge of the tower and shining his light to the sky. We watched the other three fly off to their designated area. And then we stood in silence for quite some time as we waited.

"Are you still mad at me?" I finally whispered into the quiet atmosphere.

He was leaning back against the ledge, tossing the flashlight from one hand to another in boredom. His eyes met mine for a brief second before he looked away.

"No," he admitted.

I sighed, "I'm sorry for what I said earlier."

"You were right."

"No, I wasn't-,"

He surprised me by cutting me off. Except his voice wasn't raised, it wasn't quieter than usual. "I was a traitor."

"What?" I asked, not sure I heard him correctly.

He sighed, still fiddling with the torch. "I was a traitor… I planned to turn my family in to The White Witch for desserts, the first time I came to Narnia."

His voice was strangle, dripping with remorse. His eyes swirled with that unexplained emotion again and this time I had a word for it: repressed sadness. He was hurting and wasn't allowing anyone to see it. I didn't find it fair: I barely knew him and yet he held me when I was upset. I had hoped to help him so I spoke up.

"But you didn't." I noted. "If you had, they wouldn't be here."

"But I tried to." He pointed out.

I shrugged, "You live and you learn."

There was a short smile on his face, the corners of his mouth just slightly lifting, but it was there. It was enough to lift my spirits. He glanced at me from below his bangs. It made him look a tad shy, which made him look a tad cute. Kinda. Sort of. I wouldn't tell him that though.

"That's how we met, you know?" He told me, tossing the torch from his left hand to his right one.

"Because you betrayed your family?"

He nodded. "You were already in the White Witch's dungeon. You didn't do anything wrong, though. You were just human. And she was evil." I nodded, trying to picture it and coming up with nothing. However, his eyes were distant and I knew he was reliving every moment that I couldn't remember.

He chuckled then, almost startling me. "You told me to quit being a loser and start sticking up for my family."

I laughed, leaning against the ledge beside him. "Ah, that does sound a little like me."

It was silent again and I knew we were thinking along the same terms.

 _I wish you could remember me…_

 _Me too._

Suddenly he gasped and I about jumped out of my skin as he turned to me. He was reaching for the torch just as it slipped out of his grasp and off the ledge onto the ground below us. We both peeked over as a guard noticed it and picked it up. Obviously not knowing what it is, he lifted it to his face and turned it on, blinding himself for a second.

"Oh, great." I whispered sarcastically.

Edmund sighed, "I got it." Without a warning, he jumped down, landing on the guard.

"Edmund!" He chuckled. "What? Are we just going to jump from roof to roof now?!"

"Come on down."

This jump was much farther than the last. I shifted from one foot to the other, unsure.

"I don't know, Ed." I had never called him that before, but it slipped out naturally. I didn't notice him smile when I used his nickname.

"I got you." He assured me.

And I believed him. But the sound of an alarm cut off my confidence. I looked past Edmund's shoulder to the courtyard below where Peter was fighting off some guys. Just as I noticed him, two guards burst through a door on Edmund's floor.

"Ed, look out!" I watched as he dodged their sloppy attacks and fought back with nothing but a flashlight.

"Signals the troops, Edmund!" Peter shouted.

"A bit busy, Peter!" Edmund called back.

I gasped as Edmund's feet were kicked out from underneath him. Within seconds, the guard stood above him, preparing to lunge a sword through his chest. I don't remember the idea of jumping flitter through my head, I just did it. I somehow managed to land on the guard's back and knock his sword out of his hand with the element of surprise. Unfortunately, I didn't weigh much compared to this guy, and with a growl, he flipped me over his shoulder and I landed on my back next to Edmund.

Edmund kicked upwards, knocking the guard away from us, but losing his grip on his torch. I heard a grunt, before the guard lunged at us once more. Taking the metal torch from the ground, I jumped in between Edmund and the guard and swung my arm, hard. The contact of the flashlight ramming into the guard's cheekbone caused my whole arm to vibrate with the impact. I almost fell back with the motion as the guard toppled to his side, out cold.

"Nice shot…" Edmund breathed out, astonished.

I pressed the button on the torch, my victory diminishing immediately. "Oh, no…" I mumbled when the machine no longer lit up. Edmund's eyes widen before he took the torch from me. He continuously smacked it with the palm of his hand. "I'm sorry!" I apologized before the light shone, causing us both to gasp. And quickly, Edmund used it to signal the others.

In the end, the fight led Edmund and I to be cornered on a whole different tower, with the only door locked so the guards can't get us, and nowhere to run. I watched Edmund lean over the ledge as if he was debating whether or not we could jump, but there was no way. We were thousands of feet away from the ground.

"Edmund, what do we do?" I asked right before the door swung open.

I felt Edmund's arms go around my waist and he backed me up against his chest. The guards unsheathed their swords from their scabbards and I voluntarily stepped back to press my back firmly against Edmund's chest, feeling his heart beating and his arms shaking with adrenaline and the unwanted terror. So, this was it…

"Do you trust me?" I heard his voice right in my ear, his breath tickling me slightly and I might've smiled at the sensation if I wasn't so frightened.

"Yes." I blurted out without even thinking about it. I did.

This dark-haired King had my full trust and loyalty and I didn't even know why. I knew I trusted Caspian because he earned it and I had his back because I owed him that. But this King was something else entirely.

It was as if I could the need to protect this guy come back to me and not understand why. I didn't need to know how I knew this King, I didn't need to know how I knew him or why we were so close. But we were close and I cared about him more than I had words to explain how it felt to have his arms around me.

And then he stepped back and the empty atmosphere took us together.


	8. In Memory of Who I Use to Be

**Chapter 9: In Memory of Who I Use To Be.**

The gasp that escaped my lips was barely audible over the rush of wind that went through my ears. There's something ominous and out-of-the-body weird about falling to your death. I also imagined it would be very cold and lonely.

However, Ed's arms never left my waist and he held me up against his chest as if his life depended on it. I might've noticed how tight it was if I wasn't busy with the painful skip of my heartbeat as the ground came closer and closer. I shut my eyes, unprepared to see the end, and reached down to grab Edmund's hands in mine.

The halt of falling happened so quickly that my head snapped in a painful motion against Edmund's chest. I heard him grunt before my legs formed around a feathered figure. Sitting sideways on the hippogriff, I held tight to its feathers as it shot up into the sky. I tucked my face into the neck of the hippogriff until the creature leveled out above the castle.

 ****It was silent as we floated steadily through the air. I sat up and leaned back against Edmund's chest once more, just to know that he was there. I could feel every inch of myself shaking from the fall. That had to be one of the most terrifying things I've ever done.

"You okay?"

I turned my head to face Edmund and nodded. "Yeah… Good thinking back there…" I noticed him hesitate slightly. "What?"

"Thanks for trusting me…" He mumbled, avoiding my eyes.

Who knew he was so shy? I couldn't help but smile as he continued not to look at me.

"You would've done the same thing," I pointed out. "If it was the other way around."

"Yeah, well… I remember you. I know you. Of course I would."

I sighed. "I just… trust you…"

He looked me dead in the eye then, as if to search to see if I was lying or not, I'm not sure. His brown orbs were soft as they stared back at mine. He brushed a strand of hair out of my face before looking away once more.

"I'm glad you do," his voice came out so quietly, I almost didn't catch it over the sound of the wind.

I could hear shouting before our feet were on the ground again. Edmund was careful to jump off first and then help me down. I couldn't help the small smile on my face as his hands caught my waist to help steady my feet once they touched the grass. We didn't get along all the time, but I couldn't deny his chivalry.

We reached the group in time to see Caspian storm off as Peter watched him go with a glare. Before I could ask what was wrong, I felt Edmund move behind me and I turned to see him take the body of Trumpkin from a centaur and lay him down on the stone ground. And they conversed amongst each other as Lucy took her healing cordial out to fix the fallen friend. However, my mind had already reached farther areas.

With a voice cold enough to send ice down my spine, I heard it clear as day as if she was right in my ear, " _One drop of Adam's blood…"_ The voice alone caused the lump in my throat to swallow as if I was being choked. Instinctively, I reached up to touch my neck although I knew nothing was wrong with it. But there was something wrong, something awful. _"That's all it takes to release me…"_

 _Release her…? No… That's not what we want…_

"Jessabelle." The name tried so hard to reach me but the world around me spun and for a split second, I was no longer standing outside next to the Pevensies', I was standing in front of the stone table. Aslan was no longer looking down at me, but another familiar face; far less friendly and one I would be grateful to never have to see again.

Next to me stood a tall, but very lost dark-haired man. I heard the slice of a knife against flesh and his hand shot out towards the witch.

"Jessabelle!" All at once, reality became reality again and I was outside once more, leaning against Edmund for support. He held me close as if afraid to drop me. I shot up as soon as I had feeling in my knees again. "What was that?"

In a quick motion, without even thinking, I reached over and pulled his sword out from its scabbard, but before I could turn away, his hands caught mine. He didn't even ask any more questions, but his expression said it all. Was I crazy to think that I really just witnessed something that was about to happen…? Absolutely. But the fear of it wouldn't leave the pit of my stomach.

"Edmund… I have a bad feeling…" And with that, I pulled out of his grasp and ran inside.

I ran with all that I could muster until I got to the stone table. On the other side, Caspian stood memorized by the woman cascaded in ice. His figure frozen like she should be, except her whole demeanor floated in the water trapped by the two ice walls.

"Caspian!" My voice squeaked, my eyes never leaving the pale, white skin of the woman.

And when her eyes met mine, my bones themselves practically jumped out of my skin in fear. "Ah, Jessabelle…"

My breath hitched in my throat as she spoke my name. My name.

The world spun once again and I was standing in another room made of ice and metal bars. My ankles were chained to a floor that I had slept on for weeks. And every single day, she made her way down to visit me, and every time she left, I had a new bruise or gash on my body. I was her torture toy until she got the truth. She wanted the prophecy about the children, the ones that I were to meet one day. And as much as I wanted to give her the information, as much as I wanted the pain to stop, I wanted Aslan to win so much more.

So, a couple of days after she captured Edmund, she released me from the chains, took me by my hair, and dragged me out of the cell. I heard him calling my name and begging for her to stop, but she turned the corner, yanking my hair along with her. It had been the first time I had stepped foot on the other side of the cage in months. And the last.

My first death wasn't a quick death, nor was it painless.

And my second death, the blurry remains of Edmund- so much younger, much sadder- crying above me. His tears falling to land on my cheeks and mix with my tears. There was no pain and I wasn't fading into dark, just light. Only light.

And then the flash of her face returned and a sword was lifted into sight. It was meant to come down on my head, ending the suffering,

Just end the suffering.

End the pain

" _NO!_ " My voice broke through the new silence.

 ****A pair of large hands came down on my shoulders and when my vision cleared, there was Caspian, looking at me with worry. He had knelt down to my height, seeing as I somehow ended up on my knees. When my vision cleared, I noticed it was because it was once blurry with tears that now fell down my cheeks. My breathing was rough and uneven, and my chest rose and fell rapidly with every breath.

"Lost Girl?"

"W-where's Edmund?" I stuttered, though I was still finding it hard to breathe.

"He just left the room, why?"

Without answering, I rose to my feet and ran once more.

 **Edmund's POV**

"ED!" I turned to find her running towards me; hair flying high behind her, eyes looking wide and wild. Running right at me.

And without second guessing, I opened my arms for her to run right into them. She fit there perfectly, wrapped up in my arms and molding into my body. Her hands clutched the back of my shirt tightly and I worried as I felt her shake underneath me.

"Jessie? What is it?"

"You were right," she sobbed, losing composure as she slowly began to sink.

I caught her under the arms and held her close to me. Using the strength I had to replace hers which had disappeared for the time being. She leaned all her weight on me; however, I didn't stagger once. I could support her easily. I'll always support her, hold her up when she needs it, when she asks me to.

"Right about what?" I asked, removing one of my arms around her to move the hair which had attached itself to her tear-stained face.

She shook her head frantically as she choked back the tears. "I don't need to remember." I remained silent as she continued to talk, mostly because I wasn't sure where she was going with this. "I don't need to remember my past, I don't want to. I get now why it was taken from me: who wants to see themselves die? Twice?! I…" She took another deep breath. "I remembered her. T-the witch… And the cell… I remember being in the cell with you and her taking me away, and… and I…"

"You remember your death," I finished softly, my chest twisting at the thought. I always wanted her to remember: remember ME, not the torture she went through.

She nodded through sobs, "Both of them."

"I'm sorry," I told her, my voice no louder than a whisper. I took her head in one hand and pulled her to my chest, holding her close.

She continued crying until she cried no more. When she was done, she didn't let go of the tight grip she had on my upper arms, but she looked up at me with a small smile.

"I don't need to remember. I have you."

I know she didn't mean it the way I said it, so I prayed she couldn't see the blush creep up onto my cheeks. I pretended to be confused, raising my eyebrows just slightly.

"You can tell me all about it," she explained. "Tell me our stories. Tell me how we met. All of it. Don't leave any of the details out. And then tell me what happened after. What did you do with your life after the battle? You can tell me everything."

I couldn't stop the smile that spread across my face and I didn't let go of my hold on her. "Is that what you want?"

"Yes." She returned to her spot in my arms, laying her cheek right above my heart. "I want to hear it all from you."


	9. Another War

**Chapter 10: Another War**

 **Jessabelle's POV**

"You want to send them out in the most dangerous parts of the forest to find a talking lion who may or may not exist?" Trumpkin jabbed his little thumb towards Lucy and I. wasn't sounding too pleased with Peter's idea to find Aslan in order to get help. But it was only minutes after we got back from storming the castle and the Telmarines were expected to attack us any second. We were desperate. And Trumpkin turned his desperate eyes to Lucy and asked, "Haven't we lost enough people?"

"I'm going to be okay." Lucy assured him, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"She will be," I nodded in agreement, "I'll make sure of it."

"And what if something happens to you?" Trumpkin questioned.

I hesitated, unsure of what to say when Edmund spoke up, "She's going to take a bow and some arrows, and she's a good shot."

Before I could confuse myself and try to remember how he would know that, Caspian spoke up. "They'll be alright."

Part of me thinks he was saying that to convince himself more than others.

Caspian had tightened my stirrups enough to keep me seated as the horse galloped into the woods. Lucy's little arms were tight around my frame, hanging on as we bounced along to the horse's quick running. Though it wasn't long before I heard her calling my name past the rushing wind filling my ears. I glanced over my shoulder to see what had caught her attention and my heart dropped at the sight of five guards riding quickly at us.

Once we made it to a clearing, I stopped the horse and jumped off, leaving Lucy to be a stuttering mess.

"What are you doing?" She squealed as I handed her the reins.

"You've got to go onwards. Don't stop looking… Be safe." And with that, I smacked the rear end of the horse and it galloped away, leaving me alone in the clearing.

Turning to face my incoming attackers, I reached back and pulled the first gold arrow out of the holder and lined it up with the string of the bow.

 _"_ _Gold?" I asked Edmund as he handed me the arrows. The feathers were a gold color and the tips were as silver as their swords._

 _"_ _Yeah. Susan's is red, so I figured yours should be gold."_

 _There was a bit of silence as he held me strap it around my shoulder and I took the time to take in his facial features. I never noticed how many freckles spotted the bridge of his nose. I almost started counting them before his eyes found mine. The pink that dusted his cheeks was so bright with the light of the torches illuminating his face. I tried not to smile at the sight._

 _"_ _Be safe." He quietly mumbled._

 _"_ _I will."_

 _"_ _And don't do anything stupid."_

 _"_ _Don't be mean!"_

 _He gave me a classic Edmund-smirk and it felt as though something had thumped me hard in the chest. He rested a hand on top of my head and kept there for a second longer than I expected. I smiled softly when he removed his hand, awkwardly gave a nod of his head, and then left the room to go find Peter._

As I pulled the string back and aimed at the first man flying forward on his horse, I took a deep breath and was reminded of the time I did this with Caspian at his castle.

 _"_ _Is it too big?" Caspian had asked referring to the bow he had handed me, observing me as I lifted it up to point at the target._

 _I smiled and lightly shrugged my shoulders, "It could be that I'm just too small."_

 _"_ _Nah," he chuckled. "Now aim it at your target like this-," He shifted my arms slightly upwards and peered over at the target. "Good. You're getting the hang of this."_

 _I grinned, "I'll be better than you someday."_

 _"_ _We'll see."  
_ However, now that I knew the Pevensies, now that I understood some of my past, I also knew that my time spent practicing archery with Caspian was not the first time I had held a bow and arrow in my hands. I closed my eyes and for a split second, I was no longer standing in the open field, inside some deep forest, about to fight for my life.

 _"_ _Jessabelle!"_

 _I opened my eyes to see a younger, smiling Susan walking towards me. "Are you going to help us fight?"_

 _I smiled, "Of course, that's what I'm here for."_

 _"_ _Well, I've been practicing with this-," she held out her new bow and arrow, "Ever used one before?"_

 _I shook my head, "Not a real one. I… I think I used to have a fake one though…"_

 _"_ _Here," she handed me a different wooden bow and started to skip her way over to the training area, "Come on! We'll practice together!"_

 _I spent the next half hour practicing with Lucy and Susan when the boys' rode by on their horses. I stopped to watch Edmund swing his sword at Peter who almost missed blocking it and I smiled._

 _This is what I came back for._

 _As I watched the four other kids each practicing and getting better at everything they trained for, I understood why I had decided to come back._

 _I'm going to save them._

 _And it would be my undoing._

For most people, knowing you'd die trying to save people you barely know would send the constant fear running through the veins and into the heart. For other people, it would mean giving up completely. But I had already died- not just once! - But twice, and it no longer scared me. I knew I had a younger girl riding off on a horse as fast as she could, depending on me to make sure she made it to her final destination. And there were others who needed her to find Aslan because it was life or death for them. I also had a bow held in one hand and an arrow in the other.

I opened my eyes and focused on the first armored knight before letting go of the arrow and watching it sink into his collarbone where the armor didn't protect him. He fell from his horse, surprisingly knocking the man behind him off his horse, and they both tumbled into a ditch. I shot the next two men with ease before being pushed down by one of the stranded horses. I landed painfully on my elbow, causing the pain to shoot up my arm and the numbness caused me to drop the bow on the ground a few feet from me.

Unfortunately, there was one guard left and he cockily circled me on his horse, holding the tip of his sword out and bringing it down to press against my chest. I didn't flinch because I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of seeing the fear I was feeling as my heart pounded against my chest.

 _The sting of the sword as it came down to slice at my skin one more time._

I glared up at the guard with no indication of fear because I knew this time would be quick. It wouldn't be torturous like my first death, I wouldn't be lying down and suffering with a stab wound in my abdomen while my best friend cries over me like my second death… In fact, Edmund probably won't know I'm dead until much later.

The guard held his sword up in the air, ready to swing it down upon my head when I shut my eyes.

 _"_ _We're friends, right?" Edmund asked me as we sat in the grass._

 _"_ _Soulmates." I corrected him._

 _He raised his eyebrows in confusion although his eyes were focused on the others who were getting ready for war. I was too young to understand why his cheeks were turning pink or what the word really meant. "Soulmates?"_

 _"_ _Sure… I'm here for you, and as your guardian angel, I always will be… That's what soulmates do, right?"_

 _He shrugged, but turned his head to smile at me. He was mine to protect._

"HA!" I opened my eyes to see Caspian ride over and swing his sword at the guard. The guard groaned at the impact and fell off his horse, at my feet. Caspian was quick to swing his horse around and hold out his hand to me. "You okay?"

I smiled. "Might have been better had you come ten minutes sooner."

He chuckled as I took his hand and he hoisted me onto the horse behind him. "Sorry 'bout that. I got a bit sidetracked."

"Uh-huh," I grinned as the horse jolted forward.

Only once did I glance back at the spot where Lucy disappeared.

I gave her time. I hope that's enough.

When we got back to the others, Peter was a battered mess, panting and leaned over in pain. Edmund was focused on fixing his shoulder which looked dislocated, even from a distance. Susan visibly sighed in relief as we walked over.

"Lucy?" Peter gasped.

I nodded my head quickly to assure him everything was alright. "She made it through."

"What happened?" Susan asked, lifting up my right arm to examine it at the elbow.

I looked down to see the skin has been tore at a few parts and it was bleeding almost like falling over as a little kid and scrapping your knees. "Nothing much," I sighed, "We had a little run in with some guards, but luckily, Caspian came in just in time…"

It was silent as Peter and Susan seemed to mull this over with small pouts etched into the frowns they gave me. Edmund, however, looked up at Caspian with the look of relief.

"Thank you," he said, softly.

Caspian gave a small smile and the nod of his head, "Can't let anything happen to Lost Girl, now can we?"

The corners of my mouth lifted slightly at the use of my nickname which was starting to sound foreign as the name Jessabelle was turning more and more into a reality.

We fought a good battle and backed the Telmarines into the bridge over the river. The water was calm and steady when we reached it, but I watched the currents rapidly increase in speed at the presence of Aslan. He stood firmly next to Lucy on the other side of the bridge. And with a loud, deafening, yet welcoming roar, the water rose to that of an old, wise man and took down King Miraz. It was a terrifying yet spectacular thing to see.

When Aslan reached the rest of us, the five of us got down on one knee.

"Rise Kings and Queens of Narnia," his deep voice rung out. I watched from the corner of my eye as Edmund, Peter, Lucy, and Susan rose to their feet, all the while, trying to keep my head bowed low in gratitude. "All of you."

I elbowed Caspian slightly, being mindful of the sting pain in my elbow before I whispered, "I believe he means you."

"I mean both of you," Aslan stated.

We lifted our heads at the same time, both of us with the same wide eyes and slacked jaws.

"M-me?" I stammered.

"You always have been," Aslan smiled. He raised his voice a little louder to announce, "Of the moon and all the stars, I give to you Queen Jessabelle, the Giving."

Before I could get up from the ground or even react to what was said, a centaur stepped forward with a flower crown in hand. I giggled as she kindly placed it on top of my head. After thanking her, I stood up and grinned at the giggling Lucy who excitedly tugged on the sleeve of my dress.

"I… I don't think I'm ready…" Caspian stuttered out, still perched on his knees beside me.

Aslan just continued to smile, "And for that, I know you are."

We all smiled as Caspian rose to his feet. The smile soon vanished as a group of mice carried a dying Reepicheep over to us.

"The waves must've got him…" I frowned.

"Here, let me try," Lucy offered, taking her cordial out of her belt. She got down on her knees once more to place a drop of the juice into the mouse's mouth. With a sputter, Reepicheep opened his eyes and stood up.

"Why, thank you!" He exclaimed as we all grinned down at him.

He gushed over Aslan for several minutes as the great lion returned his missing tail. Finally, Aslan lifted his head, turning to Lucy and asked, "Now where is this friend of yours that I had been hearing about?"

Lucy nodded her head to Trumpkin who was already standing on shaking legs. His nerves seemed to get the best of him when he noticed all eyes on were on him and he hesitatingly made his way over to us. Bend down on one knee, he bowed to Aslan who offered him another great roar that sent goosebumps up my arms.

"Do you see him now?" Lucy giggled and we all joined in, except Trumpkin who seemed just a tad grumpier with his tomato-red face.

"What now?" Susan asked, turning to look at all of us.

Caspian smiled, "I think this calls for celebration."


	10. You'll Come Back

**Chapter 11: You'll Come Back**

The ball Caspian had prepared in his reclaimed castle was beyond any words I had. Of course, I couldn't remember much from my past life, but I was almost positive I had never before seen anything like it. The music, lights, laughter and dancing was a lot to take in and we all went to bed that night with full tummies and smiles on our faces.

The next morning was quiet and although no one was saying it, we all knew why. There were several times that Susan and Peter disappeared and no one questioned it. When I turned the corner and spotted them whispering with Aslan, I respectively curtsied before leaving the room, not wanting to interrupt. I knew my time would come eventually, but for now, the eldest had things to discuss with him.

I was observing the library that I had grown so fond of- the one where the professor helped me and Caspian with our studies- when Aslan entered the room. Caspian, who was also lounging around the room with me, stood up out of a cushioned chair to bow his head.

"Jessabelle." His low voice spoke out and I nodded my head, knowing what was coming next.

I didn't glance over at Caspian as much as I wanted to as we ducked out of the room. I followed him to a balcony that overlooked the whole courtyard and I was silent, waiting for him to speak first.

"You have questions." He commented, not seeming surprised.

I hesitated, trying to gather the words I was looking for. "I've remembered more lately. And I know why I forgot in the first place… Your country. I don't remember it, but I was there, yes?" He nodded. "Then how come I'm here now? You told me people never leave your country once they enter… Why am I different?"

"You asked me to let you go." He told me.

"I did? Why in Narnia would I do that?"

He chuckled before turning his head to look down at the courtyard. I looked below us at the four figures who were standing by the large fountain in the middle. Edmund was teasing Lucy as she was trying to reach him, but her small arms weren't long enough to grab him as he dodged her. I giggled along with Peter and Susan who were watching from the side.

"You grew fonder of them than I had expected."

I watched as he continued to grin down at them. When I said nothing, he continued, "I offered you a place in my country, but you had other plans. You begged me to let you return to them and in return, you'd keep them safe." He looked up at me with his large eyes and I suddenly felt very bashful as he looked at me with pride. "This is why I named you Jessabelle the Giving. You gave your life to Edmund on that battlefield many years ago, but you also gave your life to watch over his siblings as well."

As I thought through his words, my mind wandered down to Edmund once more. His messy black hair falling in his face as he threw his head back to laugh. His laugh echoing along the walls and hitting me hard somewhere deep inside me, causing heat to rise to my cheeks.

"He's different… It confuses me…" I spoke quietly under my breath.

My face felt hotter as Aslan chuckled beside me. "You'll understand in time."

My air of happiness popped immediately when I finally asked the question that hung over the whole kingdoms head, "They're leaving soon, aren't they?"

"Mmm, yes," Aslan answered.

"What will happen to Caspian? To me?"

"Narnia needs smart, kind rulers. You two indeed fit that well."

I couldn't help but make a face as the next questioned slipped past my tongue, "I don't have to marry Caspian in order to rule beside him, do I?"

He laughed and the sinking feeling in my chest quickly fluttered away, "No, child. Not if you don't want to."

He left not long after that as I watched the Pevensies'. Edmund's hair continued to fall in front of his brown eyes every time he got away from Lucy.

It wasn't long after that when they left. Aslan gave the children and some of the Telmarines a way out of Narnia through an archway between two trees. As I watched one of the Telmarine families disappear through the arch, I knew what was to come next.

"How can we trust it?" One man in the crowd cried out.

"Yeah, what if it is a trap?" Another shouted.

"We'll go." Peter announced.

"We will?" Lucy questioned.

I had expected this, knowing they were leaving eventually, but it didn't help the tight squeeze that appeared in my lungs. I hung my head low as Peter handed his sword to Caspian who stood next to me.

"I'll take care of it until you get back." Caspian promised.

"That's just it… We're not coming back." Susan told him.

My head shot up immediately and my heart skipped a beat when my eyes met Edmund's. His were as wide as mine felt and his lips were slightly parted, seeing that this was news to him as well.

"We're not?" Lucy squealed, looking ready to cry.

"You two are," Peter assured her, placing a hand on hers and Edmund's shoulder. "At least, I think he means you two…" He glanced back at Aslan who stood on my other side. Aslan gave a small nod and the pinch in my chest eased just a tad more.

However, I was sad to see the older two go. They walked through and gave everyone a hug. I was sure to give Susan and Peter both an extra squeeze, almost positive that having those two leave should hurt the most; however, when Edmund stepped forward, I knew it wasn't true.

"Here, I want you to have this," I told him, taking his hand and closing it around the object I had been holding onto since we won the battle. "Think of it as… A good luck charm, while you're away."

"What's my good luck charm when I'm not away?" He asked with a smile to show that he already knew the answer that I was about to give.

"Me, of course." I smiled back before we shared a little bit of giggling.

His face sobered up once more and I sighed. I opened my mouth, but he quickly interrupted. "Don't say goodbye." His voice was quiet, barely above a whisper and his eyes stared deep into mind as if he was searching for something. "I hate goodbyes."

I shook my head and didn't miss a beat as I responded, "It's not a goodbye, Edmund. It's a see you later…"

I finally let go of the breath I didn't know I was holding as he smiled back at me.

I got to watch Caspian exchange a kiss with Susan before the four Pevensies turned to walk towards the archway. And I continued to smile along with Edmund as I watched his figure disappear between the two trees.

"They'll come back," Caspian assured me.

"I know."

 **Edmund's POV**

The train station still smelled like oil as we returned to England. I didn't bother glancing back behind me, because I knew what I wanted wouldn't be standing there anymore. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as the train stopped in front of us. I could still smell wildflowers and sunshine, it's exactly what she smells like. I could still recall how it felt to hold her close and how soft her hair was when I placed my cheek on the top of her head. I could still feel her presence as if she was standing next to me.

Before the train doors opened, I glanced down at the object she had placed in the palm of my hand. It was a small figurine of a stag, painted white and silver. It looked familiar, as if I had seen it before.

"Edmund, are you coming?" Peter's voice broke me of my trance.

I quickly picked up my suitcase and rushed inside the train to stand beside them. As I placed the figurine inside the chest pocket of my vest, I frowned, suddenly remembering something else that is silver.

"When do you think we'll be going back?" I asked, digging through my bag just to confirm my suspicions. As I looked back up to see the odd looks they were giving me, I sighed, "I left my torch back in Narnia…"


	11. White Stag, White Waves

**Epilgoue: White Stag, White Waves**

 **Jessie's POV**

 _I had four legs once more. I was fast with speed that others couldn't compare to and strength to push past the tree roots in the ground that tried to break my run. I had hearing powerful enough to hear all four, separate pairs of horse hooves that followed close behind me, but not close enough. I was faster than the man who swore up and down to his siblings that he could catch me. He always thinks he can catch me._

 _But finally, when I lost them once more, I disappeared behind a bush and four legs became two once more. I dusted off the bright, white dress I wore and peered out at the four, laughing adults. They had all grown immensely, while I on the other hand, remained the young girl who died on the battlefield. That was why I couldn't let them see me watching over them._

 _As Edmund threw his head back to laugh, his hair fell in his face, and I smiled. His hair always does that._

 _"_ _What is that?" Susan questioned, jumping off her horse to peer up at the lamppost._

 _It was a part of the youngest Pevensies' memory, the part of her memory that would help lead them home. I was just the guide that led them to it._

I woke up to a dark room, with the glittering moonlight peeking in through the curtains. My heart was racing miles and miles per minute as if I had actually been running. As I got up and threw a robe on over my nightgown, I grabbed the nearest candle off a nightstand and headed for the library.

I wasn't surprised to see Caspian there, sitting in a plush armchair by the window and using the assistance of a candle and the light of the moon to read over some large parchment on his lap. Every now and then, he used the pen in his hand to scribble something down, reapplying ink to the tip of the pen after using it.

"You're still awake?" I asked, holding the candle close to me.

He looked up from his work to flash me a smile. "Just doing some last minute studying. What are you doing awake?"

I shrugged. "Just… had an odd dream."

"Another flashback?" He asked.

I had finally opened up about all my flashbacks and kept him updated on any new ones.

I nodded, "I think so… They've been happening more frequently lately."

He frowned, "Was it a bad one?"

"No, not at all."  
I took a seat next to him and used the next few minutes to explain all I had seen, including the part where I shifted into the form of the White Stag.

"I didn't know you could shapeshift…" He whispered in awe. "Could you show me?"

I giggled, "I don't think I can anymore. Just back then when I needed it to survive. I was on my own as I watched over them, y'know? Couldn't let them know their dead friend was spying on them. How creepy would that be?"

He laughed, "I suppose so… Sounds like a lonely life, though…"

I thought back to how Edmund threw his head back and how his laugh echoed through the woods. I shrugged my shoulders casually. "It was worth it." I finally stood up, still holding my candle in both hands, "Well, I'm going to head off to bed. Goodnight."

Before I made it to the door, he spoke up again, breaking the silence, "Jessabelle?"

I turned, giving him a sleepy smile. "I think that's the first time you've ever called me anything but Lost Girl."

"Is it?" He chuckled. When I shrugged, his laugh died down. He looked lost in thought for a second but I patiently waited for him to ask whatever was on his mind. "How do you feel about going on a mission with me?"

"Huh?" I was taken aback, considering he never takes me on missions. He usually asks me to stay put and watch over the kingdom while he's gone.

"How do you feel about being on a ship?"


End file.
